Dear Bird Folks,

One night I looked out in my backyard and saw this weird creature under out bird feeder. It turned out to be an opossum. Did you know that they eat birdseed?

June, E. Orleans

Dear June

Of course I knew opossums ate birdseed. Besides birds and opossums, lots of other creatures like birdseed: skunks, racoons, chipmunks and, if you are lucky, maybe even a squirrel or two. Last year some lady gave us a photo of a runaway horse that stopped for a quick snack at her bird feeder. We have seen other pictures of bears, foxes and even the shy flying squirrels at feeders. Getting a surprise visitor is one of the most rewarding things about putting out a bird feeder.

Everything eats birdseed. And why not? It’s good for you. Just look what’s in most mixed birdseed – sunflower, cracked corn and millet. Sunflower seeds are full of protein and taste great. Even those overpaid, crybaby baseball players who can afford anything eat sunflower seeds. And we all know how important corn is. Entire civilizations have survived for years on corn until Pizza Hut was discovered. Stop in a health food store sometime, you’ll find Granola Heads lining up to buy all kinds of freaky food made out of millet.

My goal is to get the government to serve birdseed as part of the school lunch program. The kids would be healthier and I’d be rich. Also, by serving birdseed, it would be easier for the students to spot any hunks of thumbs in their food